Broken by Joshua Kagen
Broken by Joshua Kagen is a gut-wrenching song expressing the depression of a lonely, heartbroken, and hurting man. He is broken, though he says, “I’m fine.” He is hurting, but he shows no signs.
The second verse has the lines that stood out most to me:
I'm lonely, it's been so long
Since I felt love, to smile, felt strong
And what can I do when I'm not friends with my reflection?
Maybe you know this place of loneliness and sadness. Maybe you can’t remember the last time you were happy or even smiled.
Or maybe you are like that last line — not friends with your reflection. Maybe you are so disappointed with where you are in life that you wonder if it is even worth it.
What do we do in these times?
The chorus of the song offers an option, but it falls short. The chorus calls for someone to “pull me out the fire” and “save me” like they did before. There is help found in friends and even counseling that can combat the unbearable weight of mental illness, but even our best earthly help cannot solve our deepest problems.
Rather than looking only to someone — a spouse, friend, or parent — or something — a job, substance, or experience — to save us, we must look to the One who made us and can heal us. The Creator of the world is the Sustainer of the world. The miracle worker in the Bible has not lost his power today. We must turn to God in these moments of anguish and despair, for he hears, helps, and heals.
I want to end by offering a verse to combat that line about hating our own reflection:
Psalm 139:14
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
God made you. In your mother’s womb, he formed your frame, your mind, and your disposition. God does not mess up. Everything God makes is good. God made you as you are for a purpose. You are not a lapse in creative perfection, a gaffe in good purposes, or an aberration among God’s children.
God made you, knows you, loves you, and has not abandoned his purpose for you.
If you are struggling with depression, sadness, loneliness, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts, let this be your sign to reach out for help. Responding to this email goes only to me, and I would like to help you on the journey toward mental, physical, and spiritual healing.
Disclaimer: If you feel like you may harm yourself or cannot stay safe, please reach out immediately to someone near you or call/text 988 for immediate help.
