Correction

Moments ago, Cooper walked into my office to share with me a critique regarding my preaching from a church member.

Pause.

What did you feel?

Frustration? Compassion? Defensiveness? A desire to add some more?

The critique was offered to Cooper in hopes of helping, not harming. It was a minor presentation habit that he/she feared could be a distraction; however, they were hesitant to offer the comment for fear of how it might be received.

A few years ago, that one comment would have consumed my day. I would have questioned whether this person respected me or even liked me. I would have worried about the ramifications of this habit and whether it was the reason so-and-so did not return….

Today, I heard the comment, sought the evidence to help me understand the situation, and made a plan that can easily remedy the problem without causing any adverse effects.

Critiquing is not criticizing. Correction is not condemning. This was not a personal attack; it was a point offered to benefit the church.

How do you handle critiques, criticisms, or corrections?

The book of Proverbs has something to say about this:

Proverbs 10:17

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life,
    but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.

Proverbs 12:1

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
    but he who hates reproof is stupid.

Proverbs 12:15

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
    but a wise man listens to advice.

We have arrived at a point where any opposing thought can feel like a personal attack. No longer can we be honest with someone in a manner that could help them; instead, we feel as though we must only be positive in order not to hurt feelings. This is a dangerous precedent to set. It is very unwise to allow everyone to operate under the guise of simply doing whatever they think is best.

There is a place in our lives and in the church for reproof, discipline, and advice. Offering thoughts, comments, or suggestions should not automatically be seen as offensive or aggressive. For us to be our best, we need to know not only where we are helpful but also where we are harmful. We need to know what is going well and what is failing. We mustn't hide failures and speak only of successes….

Have you ever been afraid to step on the scale, fearing the number that will be shown?

Why is this a universal experience? Because we don't want the truth. We would prefer to live in ignorance rather than face reality.

Here is the truth: The data is still the data.

Comments, critiques, and opinions need to be shared when they are offered for the building up, not the tearing down, of others. The data is still the data. The problem is still the problem whether or not you speak up. The difference is that the problem can be dealt with once it comes to light.

Wisdom is willing to hear the truth, even when the truth is uncomfortable.