When Love Hurts

Read: 2 Corinthians 2:4
For I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.

Relationships are hard.

Marriage, which often is seen as your closest relationship with any other person, is also the hardest relationship you will have with any other person. I constantly disappoint my wife, whom I love deeply. I speak the wrong word, carry the wrong attitude, and do the wrong things more than I want to admit. Yet, because of my love for her and her love for me, we fight the good and hard fight of staying married.

Paul is writing from a place of deep hurt within a deep relationship. The people in Corinth have abandoned Paul for a rivaling faction that belittles him. Paul writes this letter and the previous “Severe Letter” through tears of love, not tears of weakness. He cares so much about these men and women in the church that he is willing to be hurt for their sake.

This is what love looks like—being willing to be hurt for the sake of another’s good. This is the love we see from our God, who willingly marched to the cross, not defending self but denying self, all for the sake of love. Jesus lays down His life for His friends and calls us to do the same.

While we wish all relationships would cruise on calm waters, that is not the reality. I want to challenge you today to love even when it is hard, even when it hurts, even when it brings tears. Love them by doing what is right, good, and helpful even when it is hard.
Love them by being a voice of encouragement, an ear to listen, or a hand to help.

Remember, it is not loving to simply avoid or ignore issues. In the name of peace, we are tempted not to love. Loving requires doing the hard work of restoration and reconciliation in a relationship!

Don’t take the easy way out! Have the conversation, share the hurt, ask the questions!

Don’t hide your hurt!

2 Corinthians 1:5–6
5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

One of the greatest issues in times of affliction is our desire to hide. You do not have to handle it alone.

Paul is urging those he loves: Don’t hide your hurt. Don’t fight alone. It is not good, nor is it required. There is comfort available. You can have hope even in the midst of affliction.

Toward the end of Paul’s opening introduction, he moves from the chair to the couch and shares how he has recently experienced real trouble—trouble he truly believed would lead to death—and yet God spared him.

Paul learns in that moment not to hold in his hurt, but to let it out and share it.

Paul says: I learned to rely not on myself but on God who raises the dead.

I learned I was powerless and He is all-powerful.
I learned that I was limited and He is infinite.
I learned that I am weak and He is strong.
I learned that I am not enough and He is more than enough.
I learned I can’t cause anything—and He can raise the dead to life.

I learned to shift what I trusted in. Affliction humbled me to trust, not control.

For many of you, your first step today needs to be to share your hurts with God.

What is overwhelming you? Stressing you? Shaming you? Creating fear within you?
What is broken that needs repair? What is lost that needs to be found? What seems hopeless that needs an injection of hope?

Don’t hide your hurt. Share it with the God who hears your prayers and acts on your behalf.
And if you can’t share it with Him—who can you share it with?

Comforted to Comforters

2 Corinthians 1:3–4

This week, I have shared honestly about my mental health journey. For some, I share too much. For others, it is helpful to see that others are struggling in similar ways.

Why do I share?

I believe that God has given me the ability to use my tough moments as teaching material. I am wired not to worry about revealing too much or oversharing, so I lean into that willingness for the sake of others.

This is what Paul is teaching in 1:4—the comforted become comforters.

My hope is that God’s faithfulness in my past can help you trust Him in your present. I want to share God’s goodness in my life as a catalyst to remind you of His goodness toward you.

I realize not everyone is wired like me. I am simply trying to use how God has wired me for His purposes.

How has God wired you? Where has God placed you? In what ways can you be a comforter to others based on the comfort you have received?

Identify: Who around me might be walking through something similar to what I’ve experienced?
Action: Reach out to one person this week and offer presence, not solutions.

God of All Comfort

2 Corinthians 1:3–4
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Where do you look for comfort?

Whether or not you have diagnosable anxiety, we all struggle in life. It is part of the curriculum. Where do you go in the struggle? Where do you turn? What do you trust to help, save, fix?

Paul is clear with his friends in Corinth—God is the God of all comfort!

That means:
God can comfort your fears.
God can comfort your sadness.
God can comfort you in loss.
God can comfort you in confusion.
God can comfort you in any and every situation you experience.

Why?

Because the Triune God we pray to knows what it is like to suffer in this body. Jesus experienced every pain, temptation, and trial we can face. While it may differ in detail, the urge, rejection, and disappointment are the same. We are comforted by God because He knows what we are going through and can help us.

My biggest problem is not believing that God can comfort—it is looking to Him to comfort in those dark times. I often first choose to work hard, attempt to fix, or talk it out with someone. Prayer is near the bottom of my solution list, not at the top.

Will you join me today in asking God to rewire our minds to look to Him when we need comfort? Rather than looking to a pill, a bottle, a friend, a phone, or another distraction, God, help us look to You for the comfort and peace that surpasses understanding.

What is one thing you can replace (phone, food, drink, show) with prayer in those moments when you need comfort?

Anxiety Steals Opportunities

2 Corinthians 2:12–13

What is anxiety costing you?
Take a moment and think about this.

Is it costing you your relationship with your spouse?
Is it costing you hours of thought as you ruminate over “what ifs”?
Is it costing you relationships with friends or family because you feel overwhelmed by situations you cannot control?
Is it costing you peace?
Is it costing you rest at night as your mind races with all the things that could—or have—gone wrong?

Paul’s anxiety forced him to leave a ripe mission field. Anxiety is costly.

The first sign that anxiety had become a major issue in my life was sleep. For two months straight, I would wake up each night around 2:00 a.m. and not be able to go back to sleep. My mind would sprint through all the ways I had failed that day and feared I would fail tomorrow. I replayed conversations, ran through my to-do list, and fixated on areas where I wasn’t as perfect as I expected myself to be.

Night after night, I would lie awake for 45–90 minutes, unable to quiet my mind. Not only was I being robbed of rest—I was being robbed of peace. And it didn’t stay contained. It began to bleed into my relationship with Carlin, Cooper, my work, and my friendships.

I resonate deeply with Paul’s words: “my spirit was not at rest.” Every call, text, or email created a sinking feeling—what did I do wrong now? I truly believed that every interaction would bring bad news or disappointment I had caused.

I share this honestly because I know many of you are in a similar place. And I want you to know—it does not have to stay this way. There is help.

Paul had to step away from ministry in that moment. You may need to step back from certain things in your life to focus on becoming healthy. My first step was a telehealth appointment that helped address my sleep. That was just the beginning of a journey that included prayer, counseling, trust, and yes—even a prescription.

While younger generations can sometimes over-diagnose and need to learn perseverance, older generations often under-diagnose anxiety and need to know it is okay to seek help. I want to stand in the middle and say—there is hope, healing, and help.

As Paul wrote to Timothy,
“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)